Friday, April 29, 2005

Things that go bump in the night...


I am nocturnal. I like the stillness at night. The quietness and serenity it impose on all life after a hard day's work. My world are lit by room lights and street lamps. My road would be in hues of yellow with tints of orange. The only uncanny lights will be the coppers in bright 'space-blue' lights spinning on top of their car hood. I see folks in the newpaper delivery business stacking their deliveries on their rides, sleepy school kids working graveyard-shift at 7-11s and market folks unloading their goods at stalls. It's always the pork to arrive first. I'm sure you have been at the back of a Porker Truck at wee hours in the morning while driving back from clubbing and yet they have the nerve to say pork-eaters are naturally lazy. I will bitch-slap those dick-wats with a big slab of ham anytime. Funny how Hollywood potrays nights as sleazy and menacing. It's not, that's human intepretation on things they can't see.

The night is even better after some evening downpour. The air will smell sweet. It's just a metaphor. Don't get me wrong, it's no sugar-sweet but sweet to breathe. You folks ever notice, those room-temp water taste 'nicer' on rainy nights? no kidding. I don't wanne figure out the science in it. It's just is.

I work best at night when there's no phones ringing every 2 minutes or people buzzing pass with their thoughts equally fast as their pace. My mind buzzes with activity when the sun sinks contrarry to what they teach us at schools. It started couple of years back when we had crazy gung-ho schedules, a demo or presentation will need to be prepared by morning, by the time it's completed, it would be too late to go back and catch a quick nap. By 10 next morning, the demos has to be up and running. Imagine the chaos if the projector are missing a bulb or when some files are missing from the presentation while on network transfer. It carry on throughout the years, they forgot to turn me off at night. Nah, we have a whole team working on projects and my biological clock is suppose to be tune back accordingly. It just needs some adjustments. Time.

Talk about time, at night it's the best time to recollect memories, being nostalgic and all. Yeah, the first night alone with your 'other-half', first toke on weed on top of the nearest hill you can find(so they can't 'smell' your pot a mile away) and hey, they should make it must be at night when you propose to your GF so both of you could sleep on it and keep dreaming. My nights has its share of dissapointments and tragedies but I would prefer it to come at nightfall. It makes your experience seems surreal and out of this world. It's the morning that wakes you up from both your nightmares and dreams. Mornings are grand and signals the onslaught of ppl activities to follow. I doubt you can still hear cockerels coz most are turned into dinners. Instead you will hear the roars of buses, those damn filthy diesel school buses, factory buses, hell, I suspect there's a conspiracy by the Gov on waking ppl by randomly paying ppl to drive old noisy wankers around our house! The weirdest thing is, I find myself longing for the night when morning comes. Like the cookie-baking Oracle said in Matrix, "...everything that has a begining has an end."
*follow by Agent Smith gouging her eyeballs out... nice.

Monday, April 25, 2005

Babies and Getting over it!

Parenthood
A friend and I chat up last nite and one similarity we shared were both of were unattached. We wondering why were we still swinging it. She wanted a baby but after I enlightened her about pregnancy, she start thinking about it, real hard. Starting a family is no easy task, one childhood friend has to sell his Perdana V6 and downgrade 'coz a baby is on the way, another has 2 baby boys waking up during midnite but it all seem irrelevant once you're holding your flesh and blood. I remember a close friend and ex-colleague told me after his baby-girl was born 2 years ago. He said all your trouble seems to 'fade' away once you are holding and coaxing your baby to sleep in your arms. Sure make a great sight to behold. Father and baby daughter.

Guess you haven't really grow up until you face parenthood and make all those sacrifices. I have another friend who seem to unappreciative of parenthood. Well, it was a gunshot wedding and he was an unwlling father, the 2nd baby boy came and each time, he will be on a drinking binge, not for celebration sake coz you can't be celebrating from 3pm till 11pm? I think everyone has a friend or relative like that. Will we fare any better? Tough question.

Read a friend's blog, she paints a pretty picture of exciting things. That's the problem, only exciting stuff. Nothing dull and lame ever occurs, like turning on Disney or Hallmark channels on the whole day. I prefer real-life ppl who struggles to go through each day. Painting a beautiful picture on your blog is fun but not putting your real state of mind is akin to running an election campaign. Might buy you votes but preparing you for the job it doesn't.


Getting over your Ex.
Ha, here's are some survivor guides to help those who still haven't got over their last relationship, yeah, yeah, right you did, read on, never hurts to learn a couple of new tricks:

  • Immerse yourself with your goal/work.
    Yeah, time to dust off the 5 year list of To-dos, or you might find you have the 'extra' time to put in the lack of 'enthutiasm' your boss always complain about. How it helps? Well for once you won't have anytime left in you to worry about what she's doing now or if he would bring his new gf to your fav romantic 'spot'. Hey, if you're doing a good job, you might even have a real career. The Cons: You might reach an influential postion, expect the whole bunch of zealots talking and kicking your ass at every opportunity.
  • Get yourself a re-bounder
    A fav among girls but works the same for guys. A re-bounder is someone you have a short-live intimate relationship with. Preferably some who fancies you at a distance but shy enough to remain that distance. You might even buy her/him some confidence til they are brave enough to have a real date. The Cons: She/he might get real pissed after you had your time with them and start an ambition to 'annihilate or destroy' you. Time to change your Yorkshire terrier with a Rottweiler.
  • Go on vacation.
    Alone. Backpack and bring as little money as possible, keeps you on the edge. You will think on everyway possible to keep your expenses low. Meet smelly locals and Mat Sallys who are prolly sympathies wit you enough to share your tiny little bed at the local YMCAs. The Cons: You might get too 'local' or worse sold off as a slave to some rich Middle-east nation as their yellow-batty boy.

Never ever, I said again, ever! go back to your Ex for help. You are giving yourself a reason to see him/her again. Chances are, you will find yourself falling ALL OVER again, hey, you got smitten the 1st time, you will for the 2nd or 3rd,etc. You will ruin his/her chance of starting anew with someone else. You love them that much, don't fuck it up for them, it's hard enough breaking with you. Spare them your misery.

And oh, Good luck, you will need it.

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Soosan


Soosan. A face you will never get tired of staring!

Soosan's getting hitched next month. wow. Of all the years I've known her, she'd never fail to impress me. Sweet, fun and fiercely independant, she's the perfect girl ALL men desire! no kiddin' and she's only 25. She's unpretentious, says her mind but yet courteous. A great quality lacking in lotsa ppl. It was a privilege we get just by being her friend. Did I mention she's also witty and smart? now you know. She will move on to a new chapter in her life being commited and reach true adulthood by tying the knot. May the brave couple which are about to take the plunge be blessed with great times ahead! This is one wedding I'm looking forward to. Cheers!

(eh, haram... cilakak, might have to smuggle some liquor in)

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Double-meanings, records, cats, dogs and more women!


Again this pic has nothing to do with my article, this is Josie Maran. Get to know her.

How do you actually write about yourself when you find yourself unrepentant on revealing yourself? You write about something else, you write about beautiful women, street culture, music and other irrelevent stuff to take friend's mind of you. The last thing you would do is to show the others what a lambast prick you can turn out to be. For guys, it's easy to be an idiot, we're born natural to do these kinda stuff. While women champions the ideal ambitious and intelligent role, I would settle to take the lesser end of the deal. Too tired. Yall pretty things can go ahead and charge towards 'getting a better deal' out of Da Man. What you do good, someone else out there will be better. Throw in the time factor and you will screw up the whole thing. Records are meant to be broken I'm sure, but the speed of it being broken is mind-boggling. You get new crime stats, new 'revolutionary' phones, new ways of everything. The only satisfaction you get when you're at the top is to savour that couple of seconds, 'No one can take that away from you!' they say, what crap is that? 2nd place is still a loser, wining means you've reach the peak and there's no way but downhill from there onwards.

There are couple of things in life you will find a 'peak' where you can't go on anymore, your sports(1st indicator), your career(you can find other jobs which rewards you what you need) and your love. I haven't reach the 3rd peak yet.

You have to be driven for all three peaks. I find the 3rd to be the most challenging, because the 3rd peak has the 'X-factor', the rogue equation of anything that can go wrong will go wrong, the women. Loathe them but yet every fibre of your body reacts when some beautiful creatures are passing by, love them and they will leave you the second they think you're theirs. That's why we guys are meant to be 'unemotional' or so you think! Whoever brought up their sons to be 'emotional' and exceptionally kind to women are mother's conpiracy. I use the word 'exceptionally' coz I, too have a mother, but we were brought up to judge for ourselves when it is appropriate to be kind and assertive. No wonder I never like cats, they're intelligent alright, comes to you only when it's hungry or sick, never in their thoughts you're their master. You're only convenient til the next meal. Dogs are not smart but you gottha love their enthusiasm and undying loyalty. Mind you beautiful felines, purrr my way but keep those claws underwrapped.

Infernal Affairs 1:80 scale


Infernal Affairs Models. Only flaw is, it's quite fragile and Tony Leung doesn't look convincing

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

"It’s war against Rave"

"It’s war against designer drug abuse"
No I did not get my Title Blog wrong. Piece the puzzle together and you get the idea. End of designer drugs means the end of Feng-tau(Rave is Feng-tau) music ~period(love to use this word alot). Everyone knows you need feng-tau pills for feng-tau music 'coz when your 'real' stamina starts to kick in, it will be the end of those 3-4 hours marathon non-stop hollering in the air like a bat out of hell.

For those who only knew clubbing through pills and dance music, well, it's time for you to know there are other music out there and other fun things to do besides getting duked out in clubs. Just remember, there ain't no free love here. PLUR is just a tag from Europeans trying to be hip while peddling their 'wares'(drugs, free-sex and a reason for wearing fluffy-hats.)

Talk about drugs, I'm hooked on ciggies myself, it's the same, it will get me in time. For all yall pill-users, you will find yourself talking with uncontrollable mouth-spasm, no shit. Saliva will drool outha your mouth, you will slur without realising it till you see your friends staring at you, awed(you might wanne buy a Pacifier, yes the little plug babies chew on, refer pic below). Now you remember why you were always grinding your mouth during clubbing. You will sweat like a wet dog even in a fully air-conditioned room. I have a chair here which is a proven 'souvenir' from a dude 1/3 of my size. This chair has 'yellowish' stains all over it. Yes, it was soaked by the a dude I knew a couple of years back. A new colleague is using the chair unsuspectingly. Now I know how he gets his creative inspirations from. The bull about estacy lasting only a couple of hours is partially true, the 'euphoria' feel ends but its traces last in your body for couple of weeks! Do a test on 'Meths' a week after you last had your 'Euphoria' and you'll see. Don't kid yourself by having a 'Weed' test.

You're lucky if your peddler sold you 'light' pills instead of the pure 110%, that they do by adding 'other' additives and it's not colouring if that's what you're thinking. Thanks to Proton, our national car-builder which replaces original parts with sub-standard materials, our local 'entrepreneurs' follow suit and to think why almost all our fan-pan vcd sellers kept telling us it's the real thing.

Hopefully, the clubs will start switching to other form of music. I know yall will bitch about electro-music being taken from you. Go blast it in your car(remember to close ALL windows) or listen thru your headphones, see how long you could listen to it... sober.



Know your hallucination:
http://www.gainesvillepd.org/special_investigations.htm
http://www.thegooddrugsguide.com/
Place to buy your RAVE stuff, hurhurhur
http://www.technomoves.com/

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Spot the Nipples Trivia!



Let's play a game call 'Spot the Nipples'. Sample clip today is 'Cast of Sin City talking to MSN'. Tell me the exact time code when the pair of 'target' appears! Forget about 'dumbblonde' remarks Jessica Alba babbles about learning her role in strip clubs, you can spot her 'excitement' a mile away during the interview.(damn, I just gave you a Hint.) Remember to practise, practise, practise to master this uncanny ability of 'NippleSpotting'. You never know one day it might just save your life! Nippy.

it's Monday, everyone's brain-dead on Mondays. Bah!

Sunday, April 17, 2005

The best smelling club in town(just for tonite)

Free bag of goodies! Free admission! Free Drinks!
It sure get your attention alright. Anything FOC is herd mentality. Me and a couple of colleagues went to a CK One party last evening and it's the perfect scenario. Admission at 8pm as written on the ticket and we were there... with the rest of 500+ odd mix of freebie-getters. First 300 gets bags of goodies it says on the promo. Zouk was the venue for this party and I think they handled it quite well, no one died of trampling or stomping. We saw our first worst among the worst tonite, we have folks queuing up just for the bag of goodies and leave straight after that. Some posters, small measly pot of CK and some other useless stuff. Betcha it will end up at Petaling Street in for RM20. We manage to get some 'House-pouring(i.e. cheap/thuggish) brand drinks and some pretentious poster of a topless white guy being hugged by an Afro-american girl. That's so 1995. Anyway, it's good for covering up the messy shelves in my office.

The rain sizzles out and it was alright considering queuing up with the rest of your fellow party-goers who are all eager to show everyone the latest 'rave' moves on the floor? rave has moves? wobbling your hands in the air or bobbing your head like a lunatic is no moves, bud. Watch MTV and learn some 'real' cool moves. If the chick don't dig ya, then she's sorely lacking in coolness so forget about striking up a decent conversation.

Back at the partee, everyone's checking everyone who's anyone. No celebs tonite. Instead we have Joanne Kam Poh Poh, the big woman with an equally or bigger sense of humour. Probably the nicest time for the night. I remember I first saw her performance at Boom-Boom Room half a century(early 90s, it feels 50, really.) and she still have what it takes to fire up the crowd. Thank her for that. Those who can stand extreme humilation by joining in on the games staged for the night deserves every bit of the prizes they won. The partey ends at 10+ and we're back to 'Dance Music'. No idea what it is, I'm sure no one gives shit, that's us. We can take any garbage Euro throw at us. I see men, grown men and half-men tearing the dance floor, again these kind of event lacks babes.

Gosh, I miss Thursdays at Zouk. You should have seen the women dances on Ladies Night/RnB night on Thursdays! *Applause. They grab any pole or stage on Thursdays and shake their booties. Mighty fine sight if you ask me. You don't see those moves at 'Dance Music clubs'*, you can find them having 'fun' popping the pills but no girl dance good with beats at 110bpm. No Booties look good at 110spm(Shake-per-minute). It will look like a a big TATA truck zooming to and fro. It make your ass look blurry and big. Anyway, without the pill, you girls can't sustain those kinda punishment and it's not worth it. We prefer girls who can dance sexy at a slower bpm. It makes all the difference.

*anything electro driven i.e. techno, progressive, trance, house, rave, ambient, anything from the Germans or Poles.

Friday, April 15, 2005

of Rap videos and your Ho



Ass-shaking OST.

This is an OST for a new movie, The Longest Yard. Some big names like Adam Sandler, Nelly and Burt Reynolds? even Loni's 'ehem' fakies has since gave-up on her. Guess he spent all his retirement fund. Anyway, it's a guy(or dykes) movie. Girls, yall can wait for the next installement of Lindsay's or Hillary's poor acting abilities on the next girl-fun-film projects.

The Video. Lotsa blinks as you come to expect from a rap video, the ride, the-making-lotsa-dough-hawking, rappers showing their steroid-buff bodies and or course 'The Blink-Girls' in the usual bikinis and tank-tops. You might be wondering if we have had enough of these videos, the truth is, we don't. Check this site out, www.rapvideoauditions.com. Don't check it if your GF is around or during office hours! Doh! Back to the site, of course everything's fake, these are pros acting but it does prove we are seriously addicted to 'The Blink Girls'. Next, the whole Jizzbang on this, girls, you might look into this sub-topic.

We're a couple of guys who pick up girls by posing as CEO's of our own independent record label and video production company. Some girls we find right out on the street, others we get from local ads - but ALL of them end up in our studio wanting to be the star in the next big rap video! To ensure them the best possible chance we convince them to give us a little something 'extra'...

The Jizzbangs
Why we like the 'Blink Girls' ~period. Yup! They does things our Gfs doesn't, those ass-shaking, wriggling boobies moves are earth-shattering(our earth). When was the last time yall girls floor your bf? i meant literally, not punch their lights out. We missed those 'tease'. It could be something 'fun' like when you're taken out to buy a bikini or a tube, and you called your bf to come 'check it out' while you're in the changing room. hurhurhur. sorry. back to reality. yeah, we miss those little 'eye-teasing' while having dinner with a big bunch of office folks and you two are 'sneaking-it-out' on your bosses veneer table. What I hear are all the blokes groans on taking her for shopping, carrying shoes and washing her car. Reward us something or we glue ourselves to 'Blink' videos and naturally, these acts will stray to more adventurous 'acts'. Yall learn it from your expensive gym clubs, those pilates or dancing lessons must be put into some use.

If there's something the 'Blink Girls' have thought us, it's injecting some excitement into your lame relationships which only consists of movies and karaokes on weekends. I'm no Doc Love, but that's what I know I need, whole lotta asses and boobies shaking in my face(think of it as 'loving', girls) and I would prefer it to be from my GF.


the whole article was conceived when Mob1900 took on his 'other' personality, a rich manabouttown whose middle name is 'Kerching!' with an exclamation. now back to his 1st lame life...

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Amazing Goats!

Just saw a short section of Amazing Race where the leaders, Ron and Kelly were milking goats after failing their attempts on carrying those stuff on their heads. They were suppose to milk a 'cuppa' out of 4 goats before they could exhange it with the Guide which will dispense their next clue. Kelly show why she was a former pageant queen with lotsa cleaveage thanks to the insightful cameramen. The goat-milking process is slow and the thought of Kelly 'topping-up' with her 'contribution' (i.e. milk her instead!) suddenly comes to my sick little mind!

Goat Milk?

Heheheh.


See for yourself and tell me if I'm wrong to 'innovate' such idea!

Mob's MP3 Pimp Station

Just updated the Pimp Station. You can skip each song and see Song Title, Singer and etc. Plus some banners as promos(Guess who?). Song request just put on my shout box and I will see what i can do.

--->

My Pimping station, pimping 24/7 just check the bar on the right --> Use Windows Media Player 'coz the playlist is in ASX(WM playlist). If you're using Macs, whine to Steve(Jobs). and oh, it ain't streaming, it's playing while downloading. Check your browser temp folder if you want the songs. Regarding the 'Songs forced into flash trade by mob1900', ignore the tag, was using Flash to do it til I got lazy. ASX playlist is easier to update.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

"Getting the job done"

The understanding that me and my bosses believes in. In my line of work, if you wanne be successful, you have to be the 'Stud' of the moment. Case scenario, slave with crappy safe accounts until you have the opportunity to juicier accounts. Some will do Pro-bono(foc) work to win awards. Pro-bono works usually allows you to dictate the creative brief thus allowing you to demonstrate your creativity.

The problem lies within the 'solution' to the advertising needs. Every art-director wants the chance to do 'Grand' and 'Glamourous' work or at least win some awards. In other words, they tend to think what's the latest media execution available for their disposal instead of addressing their client's needs. You get ads which awe and captivate audience with the trendiest sfx and media technology but doesn't resolve the clients woes. You will find it a norm in almost all agencies in Malaysia.

In print, you will only need 3 years to learn all there is to learn, for some it might take less. Innovations only comes in to shorten the process. The designing process, artwork, colour-separation, proofing and final production remains unchange. If you have the foundation, it's for keeps. For me, it comes in handy once awhile when some printworks needs to be done.
Hoping this shameless self-prromo pic would get me a lay.

I am a graphic designer by profession but has since moved on to other medias. Two factors convinced me to 'evolve'. As I had explain, print-based or publication only need 3 years of my time, the other reason was, I dislike agency lifestyle. It's fast and brutal. You will have your chance to taste what's it's like working in agencies, try it at least once if you are an art graduate. It's a major contributing factor in making me what I am today, a hypocrite. Not that I don't believe in my work but I'm happy if my clients are happy and the money is flowing in. I'm a bullshit artist in simple terms. :)

I made the transition to other media besides print 5 years ago. Self-taught plus lotsa encouragement from peers. Hey, the internet was new, DV made everyone directors and electronic music was for queers. Found out it's similar in principality, only the media changes. Never look back eversince.

Anyway, the line between you and your employer should be clearly drawn. It makes things easier when job pressure put the both of you on the brink of strangling each other to death. There's a common ground we do support though, it's no matter how argue and kill each other over our egos and opinions, we still strive to get the job done. That will be the end of it, we won't have it any other way. Afterall, clients doesn't pay us to see bickerings amongst ourselves, they are just happy to see their problems are solved.

Same could be applied when you caught yourself arguing with your best friend, no matter how ugly it might look to others, both should understand their disputes will only bring both of you to understand each other better.

Monday, April 11, 2005

Theories on women

Women are self-destructive creatures. I'm saying this coz I lack the intellect to comprehend women so by saying something bad about women I could feel better. Aaah... felt better already. All those myth about women being the fertility ground for care and nurse are fairy tales themselves. I wish women are emotionless figures with totally dependency on men. There's nothing abstract when men vent their anger, frustrations or resentment. You will see broken chairs, dented doors and mutilated small pets(hopefully not). Women are different. They have learn from their Mothers or most probably inherited some form of extra chromosomes to get 'even' the subtle way. It would put Sam Fisher from Splinter Cell to shame. They would make sure you discover the treachery yourself, only to realised it was there for you to discover. She knew which route you would take to work or which mamak you go to, randomly. Only thing is, there's no 'random' in their minds. it's a cold and calculated projection. The moment you 'intent' on doing things she doesn't like, she can sense it.(well, most of the time, we fucked up really, we're poor actors.)

to be continue...

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Dead Pigeon and Birthdays

The pic is only a renactment of the actual scene courtesy of the professional Pigeon Actors Guild(PAG). .

Raining, cold and wet. Went out a smoke, "Boom!" thunder could be heard above my head. "Plop!" A pigeon fell a couple of yards in front of office where I normally lounge smoking. Walk nearer, the dying was gasping with its eyes staring at me. Took a full 3 seconds before its eye-lid finally closed. Snuffed out, just like that. A contractor walks by and I told him about the bird. The bloke says normaly, birds won't be hurt by lightning stirkes, told me electricity would pass through their body without a scratch. Probably, the bird was shocked by the thunder and 'forgot' how to keeps its wings flapping. ??? It wasn't so much of the amazing presumption of the contractor but I was awed by how he knew. "Must be Discovery channel", thinking to myself. 'It's Good to know!' that dumb ad tag kept playing on my mind eversince. But wasn't that a CNN ad? sigh, even ads get mixed up on me. My granny would probably regard the pigeon falling from skies as a bad omen. Me? I'm thinking one less pigeon crapping on my car. ... and oh, someone's getting older by midnight tonite. ;)

Pervesion of the MSN

Don't you felt like you're peeping through someone's life with Messenger? I hate that feeling everytime I'm checking my friend's online status.

Now with all those little 'Status' icons, you could actually put 'Away' status on your MSN with purposes of avoiding peeps you don't like and tell your fellow close MSNers that you are only available for them. The rest of those not-so-close MSNers will feel your wrath in form of having their little MSN 'Greeting' windows closed.

They should make status icons sensibly, like 'Constipating... be with you in a flush' or 'Out for a smoke, choke, choke, choke...'. I hate to guess the kind situation you're in when I'm trying to strike up a 'message' with you. For 90% of the time, folks are lying on what they're doing while messaging so don't bother on telling the truth yourself. How do you like telling your MSN buddies, you're cracking your knuckles, scratching your 'barang' or basically doing the lamest things you wouldn't do in front of them? The worst of part of messaging is when you felt that you've been trying too hard. Especially when you're trying to message the chick you think you might have a chance. We blokes are dumb as we can get, no form of 'wise-up' signals or status will wake us til it gets embarrasing or worst, stupid.



One those infamous subtle status are 'Away', if you see it on a chick's MSN, you should wise-up and realise that YOU, yes, YOU are the one she's trying to
avoid/ignore.


Unless of course she tells you otherwise but for most of the times, you're shit outha luck. You will know it course it's On all the time, 24/7. Yup, you have never seen an 'Away' icon for so long since your mom went on those monthly 'Mahjongtron' with your aunties when you were a kid.

On the bright side, if you're in need of help while working on your desktop, Messaging is perfect. Other than that, it's no replacement for human contact. So message to meet afterwards, chances are, you may like what you've been messaging all this while.

Friday, April 08, 2005

3.59am

Added some healthy banners on my BLOG ---> Felt like I've made a significant change to make the world a better place! So this must be how M. Theresa(God bless her soul) must have felt like when she helps the needy. Aaahh... such sacrifice. Check the forums for "Making Ya own celebrity speech thingy". seized the day I have... hohoho