G.O.V. Prepared To Show How It Premature Ejaculate! ~ Planet Bongabonga -49th

MUD + HAZE VALLEY: The G.O.V(Gays On Viagra) is prepared to reveal the methodology and data used to calculate the 18.9% PENIS GROWTH was direct result of usage of the infamous impotence drug by members of G.O.V.(also known as Gian in local sign-language – Mob ), Datin Seri Najeeb Tush Lazat the Gay One(G1) said yesterday. 

The Deputy Prime Roast said the G.o.vmen’s short penis gain amongst its ranks was based on detailed and objective studies. i.e. snooping on their members when they’re corpulating vigorously

“The statistics are not modified for the interest of any gender. If it is necessary and there are doubts, we will release the data,” he said smirking anf thumping his rather gigantic… nose. 

Najeeb said there should not be any cynical remarks implying that the G.o.vmen has really short pricks. 

“The statement gives a picture as though the G.o.vmen are lame gay men. We carried out the study based on an objective ASSessment,” he told reporters at the launch of a free-sex campaign here while emphasizing they’re real Gentle-Men although statitics showed they’re falling way behind other GAY communities in terms of Penis-Growth!

GAYRAVECUNT president Datoo Seri Dildo Lim Peh Yikes! had said that while the rave party stood by the G.o.vmen’s fine gayish figures, it wanted the public to know how the figure was arrived at. Whether if it’s medical-wonders or through ‘hard’ practise and manipulation! He wants to ‘help’ his fellow GAY-Party components enjoy the same 45% penis extension as GAYRAVECUNT members. 

The issue of G.O.V.men’s Penis Enlargement came up when the Centre for Penis Policy Studies of the Asian GAY Strategy and Leadership Institute (AsGay) published a study that showed G.O.Vmen member’s premature ‘extensions’ in pubic-listed companies could be as long as 45% from its normal length during a hard-on.  

AsGay later retracted the report, saying the study was based on faulty filthy assumptions.  

Among the questions which had been asked over the methodology was whether G.O.V.men-linked companies(GAYlink) should be included in the pemature ejaculation. Another was whether the measurement of their penises were calculated at par or real gay market value. 

UPYOURS vice-president Tan Sri MuCKhyoSardin YesItsaSin said it was a good idea for the G.O.V.men to reveal how their willies only gain 18.9% enlargement when AsGAY got 45%. 

“As much as this has been accepted as the official masturbation formula, many may be unaware of it,” he said, adding that he did not think the G.O.V.men wanted to hide anything eventhough their penises are short of expectations. 

Datoo Seri Mod All Rusty, who is also an UPYOURS vice-president, said the G.O.V.men’s 18.9% lame willieextension was already stated in the Nymph Malaysia Plan.  

He said he would support any move by the G.O.V.men to reveal how their dicks achieved so little achievement compare to the other dicks. 

Mod All Rusty, who is also Malacca Chief Masturbator, said companies like Tenaga Nasional Buttocks and PETronASS, which served all Malaysians gays, should not be regarded as G.O.V.men companies in any premature ejaculations. 

GAYRAVECUNT spread-eagle committee member Datoo Took See Fart, who had been speaking out on the issue, said the public would welcum the suggestion on G.O.Vmen methodology of achieving such miniscule success 

“People generally want the G.O.Vmento be more transparent and open about the ‘manual manipulation’ used in obtaining the figure,” he said while lubing his cock. 

He hoped that the Cum Planning Unit and other bodies would look positively at the methodology used in AsGay’s study.  

MCA(Ma Cau hAi!) GAY-Youth chief Datoo Liow Yee Chai(aka Twisted Ears) said official statistics should be made accessible to every one so that they could be used for WHAT-NOT-TO-DO reference for Penis-Enlargement research. 

He said as long as the G.O.Vmen was transparent, cuntfusion could be avoided because as gaymen, they rather stay intercourse with men.

Mob reporting for Alternate Lifestyle Section(Filling in for ‘Jackie’ who’s down with a nasty after too much raving the night before) at InterPlanetary Crappy News. ADVERTISEMENT: ButtPlug! ButtPlug! ButtPlug! ButtPlug! ButtPlug! ButtPlug!