Monday, May 08, 2006

Keeley Hazell, Wayne Rooney Replacement for World Cup!

Please inform Sven there's another 'Up & Coming' 20-year old British Export! What a spectacle she would create and World Cup 2006 is the place for Exploit. She will dazzle both players, fans and even the referees during playoffs. This is a great strategy for the English to 'grab-the-cup' after 40 years of hiatus and near misses. I'm sure she will be pulling some nasty surprise to ensure England's triump if she's chosen to replace injured Rooney.

As for commercial aspects, look at all the potential sponsors, Triumph, Victoria's Secret, Nike Sports Bra("On the field, Only MY ball should bounce!")... I know you're baffled and awe too. Tees that simply says, "My World Cup!", with the sweet girl jumping in exuberance! I'm sure by now, The Beckmania has waned, and only worn by Metrosexual-semiGay-blokes for their Gf, but with Keeley's hot tees, everyone will be, err.. speechless!

After World Cup, think UN Ambassadress of Peace, even Osama and Co would be waving the white flag if they chute her to his hide-out. That will convince all his Jihadists to give up as they have found 'Heaven' is indeed on Earth. The 46 virgins promised would have to milk goats instead and suck dry prunes!

Global Hegemony? Of course! Every desktop OS will never be same without Keeley Hazell dancing and nurturing both the young & old to 'bridging the Digital Divide', if you don't know how to leech pictures on the net, you will cry in despair for Keeley's latest edition of Swimsuit Illustrated is available on the net, Free! Hear Bill cry and howl in misery!

Social-awareness programmes will be a thing of the past, 'Feed the Angolians', Breast Cancer Awareness, Adopt-a-Keeley's Pair orphanage, Keeley's Up-lifting Experience for the not-so-well-endowed programmes and even our own Malaysia Boleh!'s MBoR(Malaysia Book of Records) by having her adopting Malaysia as her 2nd home in the aptly named '2nd Home Programme'. Once being claimed a Malaysian, we could even enter her in ALL sports and expect BIG results, yes, including badminton, soccer and other 'physical' sports. ahem...

I leave you to your imagination on how HUGE it would be if Sven were to replace that ugly redhead with this brunette boopalooza. Afterall he does have a soft spot for... ehem, 'Gifted' girls!

Long Live the New Rack!