Thursday, August 31, 2006

Friday, August 25, 2006

Merdeka Day Special: Only in Malaysia... part deux

Hopefully with my Merdeka Series, I could build a stank-up excitement leading to Independance Day with yall feeling wretched and crappy about it. Hey, if by the end of this series, if you’re still feeling great and proud of this nation then Merdeka Spirit is entombed in you and nothing could ever dent your optimism and question your patriotism. Not even your mother.

Merdeka Day Special: Only in Malaysia...
A Death THREAT Amounts to Nothing
(and this is not a comment made on a blog, maybe this Guna should learn to differentiate genuine threats from ‘figure-of-speech’ ~ Mob)

Merdeka Day Special: Only in Malaysia...
The Police Force Nabs Suspects THEN Build cases AGAINST Them
(Heey! I sleepwalk too sometimes! ~ Mob)

Merdeka Day Special: Only in Malaysia...
7 Million will be invested on Cameras instead of recruiting or raising Police Salaries
(and these CCTV will probably turn into Skodeng(Peeping) projects in 3 months time, wohoo! ~Mob)

Merdeka Day Special: Only in Malaysia...
MPs say ‘No’ to justify how they spent the budget allocation using Taxpayers Money.
(Now, wouldn’t you like to spend money from these MPs and tell ‘em to ‘F*ck-Off!’ too? Accountability and Transparency my left NUT ~Mob)

Merdeka Day Special: Only in Malaysia...
We are being play for fools By The ‘Lanun Melaka Mata Satu’(Pirate of Malacca with One Eye)
(Howsy did a handsome pic of this crook on his blog, now every women in the country wanne bonk ‘The One-Eye Pirate’. Bad and unrepentant, just ask Datin CT ~Mob)

Merdeka Day Special: Only in Malaysia...
Minister Critisize His own Gov for exposing wrong-doings of an estranged MP.
(Does he knows which side he’s at? He’s one c*ntfused mofot. ~ Mob)

Merdeka Day Special: Only in Malaysia...
An actress being given an award for her achievement but ‘massacred’ moments later for speaking a language understood by all
(wtf??? even I’m perplexed ~Mob)

Merdeka Day Special: Only in Malaysia...
A movie like this could be Box-Office and won an OSKAR
(A classic oxymoron and see them LIVE during Merdeka Eve, F.O.C. wether you like it or not, Hidup Remp-it!!! Cayalah ~Mob)

Baik Punya Rempit, gang!

Merdeka Day Special: Only in Malaysia...
We could bailout a company and NOT call it a ‘Bailout’.
(She could if she’s using HER OWN money! ~Mob)

Merdeka Day Special: Only in Malaysia...
You could ‘twhacked’ another woman on the head still looks THIS GOOD!
(Auwww, she could rip off her CLOTHES, dammit! ~Mob)


Merdeka Day Special: Only in Malaysia...
‘Catfight’ is more popular than Pilates
(Meow? ~Mob)

Merdeka Day Special: Only in Malaysia...
Our ‘Supermodel’ is a Stalker?
(Even when skanks sh*t, it stank, lolx ~ Mob)

Bersambung as usual…


Ok the pic above of Kris Dayanti has nothing to do with my Merdeka Day Special series, but lookitthosedamntightoutfit! *raising his hands and butt to dang his dut with Indonesia’s First Lady!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Merdeka Day Special: Only in Malaysia...

As my contribution to the upcoming Merdeka Day Celebration, I will be bringing you the Merdeka Day Special: Only in Malaysia... which I will highlight events and uncanny traits only available and identifiable to Malaysia.

Here I go:

Merdeka Day Special: Only in Malaysia...
Snatch Theft Victims are PARALYSED

Merdeka Day Special: Only in Malaysia...
News about Siti wearing tudung for wedding has 3 paragraphs mentioning the numbers of Apostates in the country which is irrelevant(see the bottom of the Star article. wtf???)

Merdeka Day Special: Only in Malaysia...
A ‘soccer’ actress b*tch-fight with Puteri Gunung Ledang’s husband’s Son’s ex-wife with 3 first names (Geraldine Mariana Wong) over an ex-MB’s Son who’s a former lover but now bonking the actress in a Moon bar!

(Damn kau complicated, these bitches.)
Nur Fazura Sharifuddin

Merdeka Day Special: Only in Malaysia...
Robbers could go on a robbery-spree in a Budget Car!

(Or basicaly our Law-enforcement is non-existent? ~ Mob)

Merdeka Day Special: Only in Malaysia...
Where people who pay for the roads can’t use it because some dick named Ang Lee is using it!
(I know who A. Lee is, I just wanne call him a dick. ~Mob)


It’s OK to wear the flag AND burn other country's flag?

”It’s OK to wear the flag.
Deputy Culture, Arts and Heritage Minister Datuk Wong Kam Hoong. 

Acts such as stepping on the flag and setting it on fire were disrespectful to the national emblem, Zainuddin said. ‘Doesn’t he know his compatriot does not share the same sentiment as his? Poor communication indeed. ~Mob’

and yet, we have leaders who incites their members to “Burn as many flags as you (Youth members) want,” quoted by none other than the once ‘Keris-wielding’ Minister of Education.

All within the same party and cabinet. Nice.

To the majority of Malaysians who witnessed local singer Hattan being ‘media-massacred’ not long ago for singing a RnB version of our National Anthem, this latest ‘Go, No Go and Errr..Dunno’ message from authorities will stem the most of us not to attempt anything ‘stupid’ (creative/innovate/whatever-you-wanne-call-it) with our national indentity.

To show your pride and patriotism, you don’t have to wear the flag ONCE a year.

Donate blood, pay your taxes, buy national cars, be nice to your neighbour’s pets and talk to your folks. These ‘little’ gestures are all the patriotism you could ‘show’ not by merely ‘wearing’ the flag.


Sunday, August 20, 2006

What's missing in this pic? Fun stuff!

USS Enterprise

What’s MISSING in this pic of a grand American carrier at Westport, Klang, Malaysia?


No protestors!

Where are these ‘champions’?
Isk, I was hoping Maya could have been here!
We want BIGGER Big Macs!
See that? That's my fav Kangkung!
Eh, Mana MAWI?(Where's MAWI?)
Yeah, we'll become The Mask Riders!!!
hUWAAHHH, the rendang was too spicy! gimme water!!!

and this dude who asks his people to BURN other country’s flag. What’s with all the silence? I thought we were all work up to stage a big ‘welcome’ to these Israel allies and show(refer above pics) ‘em a ‘piece of our mind’.

Matching the US Armada(in the spirit of Malaysia Boleh!)

Hell, we have something as massive as the USS Enterprise, we could always use our Twin Towers, flip it horizontal and float it ‘broadside’. It could match the US nuclear class carrier size and floating capability. We’ll shoot our national cars from our My TT*(TNB powered) as deadly pile of junks and use the smaller national cars as Anti-Aircraft ammunitions. Nevermind the fact we don’t have any aircraft on board My TT(TNB powered), we have ‘Mosquitos’ aka Mat Rempits speeding from 0 – Mach5 as ‘homing missiles’(accuracy dependings on the soberity of the pilots/riders) to our enemies.

Latest intelligence report: Peet-poot-deet-dooot(Fan-pan PC) “…Accompanying the USS Enterprise were missile destroyer USS Lassen and AEGIS cruiser USS Leyte Gulf. “

Mob: Aiyah, how come these crap intel comes so late ar? aiseh, back to drawing board liao, tiu!

*our tendency to name anything with My, example: MyCrap, MySh*t, MyCrotch, etc

The Question remains:
Why are there no friggin’ protest in front of that ‘Zionist-ally’ ship? It’s BIG and HUNKERING only wat…

Update: This 'Jumpin' Photographer' has more!

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Workout Video Suggestions for our TV Pendidikan

The Hottest Workout Videos dudes will ever need. Workout includes: 70 minutes of (mind) blowing, shifting your butt, blood-circulating exercises(on certain area of your body) which will reduce even the most avid workout toff to a teary and blood-shotted eyes weakling! ~ Guaranteed.

Check the tagline for these two God-sent DVDs:

The DVD promises “While the girls align their chakras, you’ll be elevating your bandha if you know what we mean.”

The DVDs are entitled:

It’s to exercise videos what chicken nuggets are to health food: Yoga4Dudes isn’t an exercise video at all, it’s just beautiful, scantily clad women doing yoga!

No effort! No feeling of inadequacy! No thinking! Just kick back and watch the hottest girls in the world do the workout for you, guilt free cause it’s all legitimate yoga. What an angle!

Boner Features: You asked for it, you got it!
• Our most requested feature: the Noemie Cam, Holly Cam and Tara Cam!
• The Gratuitous Undressing Scene.
• Watch the out-takes, the alternate ending, see the double boner, and more!

Ballwork4Dudes™AVAILABLE SUMMER 2006!

From the team that brought you the infamous Yoga4Dudes, comes the hottest girls-in-their-underwear-bending-over-exercise-balls workout ever! Ballwork4Dudes!

Now lets be clear, you should not try these exercises at home. In fact, you won’t even be able to because you’ll be packing wood the size of the Washington Monument!

Yes, its all here: the Full-Frontal Third Leg Pull, the Up-Ended Hinie Thrust, and the has-to-be-seen-to-be-believed Pink-Ball Double Butt Balance!

 Have a glimpse at these AWESOME videos which might finally motivates you to lift the monitor closer to your face! If you finally orders these DVDs, you could actually sits on the floor nearer to your 29” TV! Talk about Full-blown workouts!


Be advise, these are extremely sensous workouts, do not attempt unless you’re workout buddies of :


Or at least have FULL Medical Insurance Coverage!

You could even read up on these extremely healthy girls and find out if they could play the piano, speaks 4 languages and maintain a 3.9 GPA. If you wanne ask them our for dates, you’re on your own, bud!

Now if ONLY we could convince our National TV Stations to air these as 30 min workout videos on the weekends… Say Goodbye to Obesity!

Majulah Sukan Untuk Negara!


REMP-IT: Boleh Pegang Tete...Payu Dara? Boleh...

According to our Film Censorship Board, if it's relevant to the message and objective of the movie, then OK, boleh jalan.

"We do not want to be too rigid and closed minded, which can stifle filmmakers creativity." quoted by Film Censorship Board chairman Mohd Hussain Shafie.
'On Remp-Its PG-13 label, Mohd Hussain said this was necessary due to the captive audience factor. It would be different if it was made for television which has a wider audience, including children.' - The MalayMail

So if you're 13 and above, you're could now go with your friends to watch that 'a few seconds' of breast-grabbing & some chick on bed covered with a blanket. What's the big friggin' deal, you asked. Because of 'double-standards' or 'selective approval' by our high and mighty FCB. I betcha no 'Morale-Championing-Zealot-journalist/reporter' would be doing an article condemning the scenes. Or have even a witch-hunting talk-show on national tv debating this movie. And with a title like 'REMP-IT', it makes ya wonder what kinda 'message and objective' you have hanging over our 'Weekend Road Warriors'(under 200cc, mind you!). I'm sure there's good intentions in REMP-IT final objective but please do not deny it's to 'cari makan, beb' movie, afterall, why make a movie that loses money?

I've just came back from yumchar(tea-drinking) session and let me tell ya about the Mat & Minah Rempits, They're BACK! with a proud vengeance and stupendous vigour. Willies, road-hogging, zipzappingliketheresnotommorrow and with their hoes(bohsias) with their 'leaders' backseat. The rest of the single riders posse rides behind the 'leader' not so as escorts but to have a glamorous view of their leader's bed-hopping bohsia's booty. nice! and I thought I was the only pervert in town.

Pay Attention to the Porn, it's only couple of seconds!

According to The Star, there's 4 eye-popiing scenes. To The MalayMail, it's 2. So you probably get your money's worth if you pay attention to these scenes below regardless of what the papers says:

The controversial scenes include

1. a woman clad in a towel,

2. a man and woman in bed under a blanket,

3. a bohsia seducing a man in bed and

4. a couple frolicking at a picnic site.
~ The Star

Among the controversial scenes include one where actor Aqasha briefly touches co-star Julia Hanas breast(woohoo!), and another where Farid Kamil and Julia Hanaare lying in bed, with only a blanket covering her breasts. (Julia's curvy but heck, show Farid's man-tits for the women too, now that's great non-sex-discrimination-thinking!)
~ The Malay Mail

Below are movies/ entertainers which fell victims to our FCB's '2x Standards' and 'Selective Approval' :

ANY of Yasmin Ahmad's movies,(makes you wonder if it's her controversial works or because of her intelligence)

AGAIN ANY of Amir Muhammad's movies, (poor dude, suffer the same fate as Yasmin or maybe worse in some cases)

Daredevil ~ Because of its Title??? funny I remember Hell Boy got off after its title was changed.

ANY international acts that motivates you to ' Jump, shout, dance with sexual innuendos'

Some well-known Solutions ~ courtesy of the HK film industry and yours truly

- Shoot two endings, the first with the original ending and the second to be 'cop-friendly'

- Skip Malaysia

- Sell it to the 'Pirates' and make it available to the mass.

- Submit it into International Films Festivals, win big and get international recognition but Malaysia. (wow, we sound like Israel ain't it?)

- Upload it to and claim your 15 minutes of Fame.

- Give up film-making and go tender Class-F projects, be a VIP's SIL, lead a Protest (any demo) and finally claimed and live like 'Lord'

To all local film-makers, don't give up your passion to tell stories, the 'Powers that be' does not represent us. They're but a bunch of power-mongering clouts who lacks the simple trait of enjoying a good movie or any form of entertainment ~period

Relevant Links:
REMP-IT With No Cuts - The Malay Mail
REMP-IT With No Cuts! - The Star
Howsy's rant on his fav grp being penalised. =)
Entertainment Guidelines Unrealistic - The Malay Mail
Yasmin da story teller
Amir's The Last Communist blog
Zaianne's Rhetoric
- and the cute picture of Orang-utans mimicking Mat Rempits above!