Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Stupid Questions for our Space-tourists

Brokeback Space Station, 'ere we cum!

Stupid Questions for our 70 million Space-tourists:

1. Does dental hygiene contributes into making one of you fucktards a national-sponsored space-tourist?
(Defence budget IS taxpayer's money, stupid - Mob)

2. How could you share a culture when you don't have any to exchange with?

3. Can you just see 'space' in movies just like the rest of us instead of costing us 70 million?
(Again, Defence budget IS taxpayer's money, stupid - Mob)

4. Do you think you will be Mawi-convert if you come across Mawi posters drifting in space?

5. You told your parents this was a 'Lawatan Sambil Belajar' trip instead of secret experimental condom-testing in zero-G, didn't you?

6. What if the Russians don’t like you? Do you stay outsite, at the balcony on Mir Space Station or do you sulk alone?

7. What do these numbskull politikus means, ‘To do the Best for your country’? Snap better pictures?

8. Wouldn’t you knock other astronauts with our big-big Jalur Gemilang?

9. Will you shoulder the blame of improper wastage of 70 million when there are hardcore poor at home?

10. Was this under any National Plan?

11. If you knocked your tooth out while in space, will they discount 1 million off?

12. Are you covered by insurance? If you are, please do specify the payouts and to whom?

13. Do you learn emergency sign-languages? Like “Mana itu tandas, brader?”

14. Where does your feaces goes during your 8 days vacation up there?

15. If they carry it back with the shuttle you’re on, does that means you came back ‘Full of Shit’?

16. Could you ‘pull the plug’ on other ppl’s suits?

17. If you fart while in the space-suit, does it mean you smell your own fart?

18. Do you learn to eat your food from tubes? Just incase you swallow your tooth-paste.

19. If we’re not satisfied with your ‘Performance’, are they willing to send you again with no additional cost?

20. If one of you happens to ‘break a leg’, can we send Kerismuddin or the S-I-L instead? on a no-return ticket, of course!

21. Are the fuel from these rockets EPA-approved?

22. Can the two of you stick your heads out while blasting off? It has never been proven so there’s a record to be made.

23. Will you wear our sarongs during nap time?

24. Do your suits have sponsors like F1 drivers?

25. Are your helmets made to look like those used by our ‘Mat Cemerlangs’?

26. If you sneeze inside your helmet, won’t you embarrased your country?

27. If you barfed inside your helmet, we will have your heads?

28. If you do return, could we auction your stained underwear to our politicians to raise 70 million for real charity?

29. Do you jerk-off with space-porn downloads or you ask your other partner to do you?

30. Do you get a Certificate for being at Mir?

31. Do you get a ‘Datukship’ when… sheesh, we don’t even need to ask

32. What can you shared with us after your return? Space debris as souvenirs and some half-ass taken pics?

33. Would you two become uglier and grosteque after being expose to sun radiation and melt onto your chairs?

34. If the Russians staged a mutiny on Mir, will you be made to ‘walk the plank’?

35. If they don’t like you, can they throw you ‘overboard’?

36. Do the PDRM give you a Saman since you’re waaaay over the speed limit blasting-off?

37. If they do, when are you going to pay?

38. Why don’t they send our Public Works Dept Head (Semi-value) to inspect if the cost fitting the steps rail to the rocket are properly justified?

39. If the Russian picket for a pay-raise on Mir, would you join in?

40. If you wave a ‘Keris’ while everyone’s conducting a space transmission to Earth, will you be stripped-jacketed?

41. What if you encounter extra-terrestials and they look like as ugly as Nazree?

42. What if you can’t see our country from space?

43. Would your mission be counted as a Failure?

44. Could we mummified you in concrete as soon as you return to Earth? As to preserve our first space-tourist.

45. If you didn’t get consent from every single 26 million rakyat Malaysia, would you be considered a ‘Rogue space-tourist’ and be shot on sight?

46. If you didn’t get consent from your parents, would be a ‘Space-Minor’ under supervision from Mir Station’s in-station Nanny?

Feel free to contribute question or any other enquiries since this is a National event!