You Know This Movie.

To stay true to the original movie poster, look for the ‘Hidden Imagery ’.

Sorry ah, Rocky, Jodie ‘leng-lui’ Foster is on another shoot.

Inspired by KickdeFella.

DOLLAH Main Bola.

As the world turns to another glorious day…



…

BOLEHLAND : SOTD. First Non-living entity winner!

When two parties are suppose to adhere to a Subjudice law by refraining from publishing anything that risks prejudicing an on-going defamation suit, we can understand how it is done on the Blogger’s end. 

What about the plaintifs?
How the FUCK are they suppose retract published damaging articles which they knew in the first place would have prejudice against the defendants?

Post apologies and say sorry ah?
Refund and retract copies ah?

How do you subject street hawkers to corporate law? If your answer is: They all pay tax what…
Then how do you explain motorcyclists not paying toll? They both uses the road what, tiu…

So today’s Sor-Hai of the Day award goes to the most BODOH lagi DUNGU paper in Bolehland: aNgSTy.
For the record(maybe in MBoR) the BODOH paper is the first non-living entity to be bestow this crap.

Congratulations, Sor-Hai Paper.

BOLEHLAND BLING: BEDOL DA P.I.M.P.

Mike check 1–2, 1–2, fresh from Bolehland,
we have a 3 year P.I.M.P in da makin’,
i got mah Bling from swindling,
the haters and fools who kept votin’,
me and posse with a 92 ding-a-ling,

Without-chal, I’m such a loser, yall!
and I would bailing my call,
TKO on da floor with a 9–call!
Taken on a strecha’ with mah son-in-law!

Who sez I ain’t da real deal?
I get mah moneyz thru the seal,
peeps believe mah bullshitin’ with zeal,
and haters turn on to me, hatin’ me anew!

both land, sea and air I triumphed,
all you suckerz out there stay in a dump!
while I stroll-by with mah posse on a drive-by,
Uzi and Glocks all firin’ sayin’ good-bye!

I got my honeyz with my tricked-out ride,
with one hand on them lovelies and another on a 9milimeter!
If yall think you suckerz MCs gonne get me,
Think again ‘coz I’m the P.I.M.P.!

WORDZ…

*strikes a mean pose.

BOLEHLAND: SOTD

Sorhai Of The Day:



BEDOL has accused Bolehlanders of using the Internet to spread lies about him, according to a report Sunday.

We all made Bedol MERAJUK liao.
Won’t be long till he MENANGIS kebudak-budakan and insist on buying new TOYS like yachts, kapal terbangs, submarines and more ‘Cold War’ versions of mini-jet planes.

“Even bloggers or those who maintain websites use this opportunity to create stories. Lies after lies are being told. To them, everything is not right, everything is not good” – BEDOL.

Of course, how could you expect your propaganda paper, aNgSTy, to report on your wrong-doings like:
– opening nasi-kandar stores on your brother’s behalf in your capacity as the Top-Dog of Bolehland while southern Bolehland ditenggelami air.
– building some outer stupid roads up north with your company.
– letting your rambut-penuh-kerim SIL run Bolehland.
– ‘still warming-up’ after 3 years ruining Bolehland.
– fondles any damn vegetation(Kangkung) and farm animals(goats) in contact.
– sleeping most of the time.
– reward yourself with trips and positions which you’re not capable of holding.
– turning your back while your ass-wipes AMNO WARLORDS and Napoleons pillage and burn Bolehland to the ground.
– accused the bloggers who are same people which gives you 92% mandate to change Bolehland for the better.
– the list is end-fuckin’-less, all in the course of just fuckin’ 3 years.

BEDOL, take your medication-lah. You become worse when you’re woke-up on a day thinking it’s Monday.
It’s friggin’ Sunday, Sor-hai.

Bolehland: SOTW

Sorhai Of The Week



Latest Act:
Imposing 5 local compulsory studies on International Schools

Track records:
Google his real name and you will be overwhelmed!
Google ‘SquatGate’
Google ‘Police Brutality’ and ‘Malaysia’
Google ‘Nor Niamah’

Tahniah! Nor Niamah!

The Cobra Sultan lost due to poor voter turnout. heheheh

Racial Integration: Them and Us

I read through a ‘Feature’ yesterday on Racial Integration with interest.
Either there’s a ‘SPIN’(word twisting, cunning-lingual) in action or the ‘Undergrad’ interviewed was as stupid as her opinion. Read again.

Them and Us
Me wonders how a 10% or maybe less bunch of rag-tag minority gonne ‘mix’ with 80% of the main ‘majority’ if these opinions are common amongst the ‘majority’, let alone ‘asking for ‘help’?

Do you know how HARD it is to even just by getting a place in local Unis among these ‘Minorities’?
Do you know how HARD it is to even get a LOAN to pay for those goddamn books and tuition fees?
Do you know how HARD it is to even get a job paying back the LOAN for 3rd-rated studies?
Do you know how HARD it is to admit you’re poor and have to settle for local studies instead of getting a REAL education overseas unlike those sons and daughters of Ministers and Datuks?

These ‘Minorities’ might be look down upon by SOME ‘silver-spoon’ elites who thinks they’re selfish lot and only think for themselves.

Of course they do!
THEY DO NOT HAVE THE WHOLE GODDAMN GORMEN LOOKING OUT FOR ‘EM.

Don’t expect smart answers when you’re asking a dunce. We are bound by poverty and stupid policies made by politicians to enriched themselve. Stop thinking ‘Them’ and ‘Us’ and maybe, just maybe… you will find the answer.

Bedol: From Cobra Sultan to Cobra Terbang?

According to ‘Sources’, Bedol insists on having this spanking new Cobra Terbang just because he doesn’t wanne use the existing plane which have been used by a ‘Former’. Bau Hapak kot?
How much this will ‘perabih duit rakyat’(waste taxpayers money)?
200 million.

You and GOM ‘rule’ the same country, you can’t just buy yourself a coun… oops, he did. omfg!


My previous post on Monsoon Cup’s new challenger

US mag votes Bolehland as top destination

A prestigious US travel magazine has voted Bolehland as the world’s best tourism destination of 2006.
The award was a result of a poll undertaken by Glowball Trailer Magazine, a monthly published from Penisylvania.

This accolade comes just as the year-long Visit Bolehland Year 2007 gets underway and has put a big FAT CHECKS in the pockets of Tourism Bolehland officials.


Penisylanians are just as excited as Bolehlanders getting the award! For the the ’Quackers’ assumed now they now have a new hunting ground WHOLE year round without waiting for Open Season.

“Local Bolehlanders are fair game because most asians are sized like our game turkeys and deers, Yeehaaa!”, says Beuwolf Speakecheese while cleaning his prized shooter.



Besides being just as Obscure as Bolehland, Penisylania is known as the Quacker State for reasons since it became, err.. you know(*Mob making gestures of circuling his finger around his head). It plants tobacco, weed and innovate various other ‘agricultural’ break-throughs of getting ‘baked’ and high.

Penisylania worships phallic symbols and would proudly expose their manhood to anyone. This is due to their failure in dealing with the reality of having small penis. Hence everything about ‘Penisylania’ is about their obsession with the ‘barang’, in efforts to boost the esteem of Penisylanians.

There are no ‘Runners Up’ to the great award, ‘Bes Tow-rist Pot’ for year 2006 because other countries shuned and downright ignored this lame award given by an even lamer state.

Huuuuurrr…

Farewell to the Korean Big-boob Singer mistaken for our Mongolian Murder victim Altantuya Shaaribuu bla bla bla...

The long title is as senseless as ‘U-nee’ taking her own life.



If you feel depressed,
– go visit Rojaks and let Wingz and co light up your day ‘coz ‘Everbody Lafu Rojaks’.
– go shopping, those bright and cheery displays should get any gurl up and .. shopping.
– go have massage and get nails done. (Mob provides hands and supply KY, errr… Massage oil).
– get perscription of Valium and loads of anti-depressants, too ‘happy’ to even make a Noose for neck
– set an ‘Emo’ or ‘Arty’ photo-shoot session with media, obliged hamsup photographers and potential ‘financial-backers’. At least benefit from these ‘fits’.
– let the Baka-one(Dabs) be your pal and makes you laugh at his idiosyncrasies.
– let Petite-Asian-Girl-Mad Swifty and co worship you and make a roadie movie along the way.
– get girly emo advices from Reta and be seen at really cool indie-band shows!
– go to Niamah!!! and let your frustration out, very therapeutic!
– let Davina welcomes you to her Retardationation, where you can be teriffic! with wits. lolx
– allow Howsy to show you how to make away-from -home Malaysian dishes while giving you pointers on the state of nation building!
– allow Mave to entertain your weekends with pics, poetry and misadventures of ‘Bayi’, til he reads the Monday paper and reprise his role as the bard singing misdeeds done by the ruling coalition perpetrators
– your boobs will shrink.(… last resort liao – Mob)


Mob no likey anyone who takes one’s own life, no matter how fine her knockers might be!

BOLEHLAND Newspapers Must Be Responsible

LONDON: Bloggers must be responsible for what they write on the Internet as there are laws on defamation and sedition, ‘Bedol’ said.

Ello, Mister Sleepy-head, your Propaganda Machinery has been creating false news and lies for YEARS!
Ask the ‘Kari-who-currys-favour-with-God’ and Berendam Plagiarism.



Guess we might need to stir him from his deep-deep slumber.

The case of shit preach to other poos not to smell.

Spining Gasing.

Bolehland THUG R' Us is Recruiting!

In the spirit of our ‘Kaki-Pukul ’ pioneer member as seen on this Video we have dedicated this dude in ‘blue’ shirt a heart-felt club on his behalf. Nobody knows if this ‘Thug’ is a copper, no identification, nothing, but he does all the bashing with uniformed personnel looking and abetting. We could only guess he must be a big fan of bashing and thuggery, so therefore we’re have established a club for this unnamed thug to indulge on his favourite past-time(hopefully far, far away from here – mob)

Let’s give it up for our mysterious ‘Thug-in-Blue’.

Sign-ups will be left in dumpsters since we can’t locate ‘His-Scuminess’ but you can bet this ‘hero’ will appear when there’s any rumours of ‘toll-hike’ gathering surface!

VMY 2007: Watch Our Cops Beat People!

Yes,
At Bolehland we have dumb fucktards-in-blue who would gladly help any ‘Tourists’ in need of some..
good whipping and smacking! Directions? Our boyz will give you more than ‘Directions’, mate,
you could say, We have to ‘Beat off’ our competitions to deliver ‘Knock-out blows’ straight to your face!

One of our ‘satisfied’ customer.




Our ‘Employee-of-the-Month’.
He’s kinda ‘SHY’, so we take to modern digital enhancement to amplify his compassionated face right before your eyes!



Another PHOTOGENIC shot from this ‘Berkhidmat Untuk Negara’.



If you bump into him on the another street protest, say “Hi’ to him and pat him on the back for a job well-done! For truly with dedicated dudes like these, our Bolehland reputation as the most sought after L.A. for the top ‘Brutality’ spot on Earth!

BOLEHLAND BOLEH! 

Links>
Original Video from MalaysiaKini.com

Bolehland Law Enforcement

KUCHING: It must be a record of sorts for a florist. Her shop has been broken into more than 30 times since 2004. The latest was yesterday.

And although she has lodged over 30 reports, the police have come to her shop only three times.

"If these break-ins were the first, maybe it could be a small matter to the police, but my premises have been broken into over 30 times."


In the meantime, this what our good ol Bolehland enforcers are doing:


Quote heard from this dude:
“Haaiya, I told you I’m NOT MAWI!!!”


Grumblings heard:
“Bila boleh makaaan?…”
“I miss my bantal…”
“Oui, badminton final-leh, I wanne see my sexy Mew Choo…”
“Who farted? bugggeerrr…”

Guess some ‘things’ will NEVER change no matter what you do.

Watch This! Apocalypto

I’m not sure if it will be Ban by the nice folks of FeeNAS but there will be lotsa ‘controversies’ to us mild-mannered Malaysians, i.e.: pierchings, tattoos, breasts, butt-cheeks and the mere mention(actually translated -mob) of ‘Ball Breath’ in this wonderful movie.

Here are some things which you can expect from the Director, Mel Gibson, yes the Mad Max and kilt-wearing Mr. Braveheart himself:
– it contains lotsa of heart, yes I meant ‘passion’ (but it does contains hundreds if not thousands of human hearts-mob)
– shocking revelations about the great step-piramids of the Mayans/Aztecs(not the modem/pc company-mob)
– Gore! Glorious gore but only when it’s relevant and needed, unlike the sorely-missed bloody gore and flying body-parts in Braveheart. Auww.. Mel, what gives?
– Terrific camera work and photography that sets your adrenaline pumpin’ and blood rushin’.
– Grand production work with well-coordinated mass of believable extras.
– Emo moments which would tear your heart out. (oops, hearts again-mob)
– Stirring up controversies as usual. Well, it concerns more on historical accuracies but let it not ruin your watch, just don’t google ‘Mayans’ and WIKI together.
– It won’t be 90min.

I don’t wanne spoil your fun by revealing too much but if it doesn’t hit local cinemas, you’re better off looking for this title using ‘alternative’ route. ehem. The genuine ‘dub’ is out so make sure you have the ‘clear-stuff’. ehem again.

The 411:
Official Site

=====================
Can’t-help-it-pun:
“My name is Cobra Sultan,
This is my forest,
My father hunt this forest during his time and,
I, his son hunt this forest.
So will my son-in-law, Chiken Backside(Khai-see-fart) too will hunt this forest!”.

Bedol: Garmen to monitor falling oil price. hahahahahaha

Bedol: Garmen to monitor falling oil price.
KUALA LUMPUR: The Garmen will keep an eye on the falling oil price in the global market before deciding whether to revise the price of fuel.

But the problem is…



“We want the best for the people. We always have their interest at heart,”

Why don’t we believe in the ‘Cobra Sultan’?
Senang saje, when the crude oil prices goes up, our Cobra Sultan increase like his sarong is on fire. Your track records shows for itself. Itulah, suruh you belajar statistic, you gi tidur… (look under ‘failing his statistics paper’ – Mob)

Campaign for Bedol to STAY AWAKE this Year!

6 Weird Thangs About Mob1900

Tagged by freelunch2020
6 Weird Things About Yours Truly:

1. My right toe can be ‘dislocate’ on purpose. Under permitted force, it could be wiggle out of its sockets, forced all the way to the left and snaps back.

2. I have no Tattoos. Nada, Zilch.

3. I like Mariah Carey, despite what yall’re saying.

4. My late grandfather once has a worker named “Tuk-Kukuu”(Cock-poker)

5. My left feet is called ‘Pak Lah’ …‘coz it goes to sleep every other minute.

6. The more ‘dysfunctional’ things I try to dig up about my self the more I find myself being ‘norm’ in contemporary standards. Tell me who hasn’t stalk a chick he fancies, leave breathing gasps in her mobille and torture her pet… No? oh…


Now time to off-load this assignment to:

Reta
Davina
Shadowfox
ktemoc
Dabs
Niamah!

Enjoy, nia-mah!… lolx

Bolehland Parody - Batu Talam

In the spirit of ‘Sticking It Up to Da Man ’, VOTE ‘Urkel’.

We rather vote ‘an archetypal nerd, with large, thick eyeglasses, "high-water" pants held up by suspenders, and a high-pitched voice with a snorting laugh’…

than any Barisan Najis POOP.


Next state by-election, we’ll have ‘Happy Bob’(pic below) as an Indie-Candi(Independent Candidate).


Catch phrase: “AMNO’s mah Biyatch! …biyatch”

Arm-Chair Contributors, Do Your Part!

The Malaysian Red Crescent Society (MRCS) is appealing to general public including private sectors, corporate, organisations for generous contributions towards the Malaysian Red Crescent Relief Fund set up to provide financial and relief assistance to people affected by the recent flood.

All cash contributions are tax-exempted and are to be made payable to:

"Malaysian Red Crescent Society" or
Maybank A/C No - 5144 2210 3788 or
call  Tel: +603 - 4257 8726,
Fax: +603 - 4257 3537 (Operations Room) for details.


Don’t feel helpless, give our fellow Malaysians hope!
You can do your part if you have an online bank account. Donate to the Pros to get real HELP to Johorians!



Plus, you get to make a BIG DENT on Bedol’s Tax Collection for 2007! Sweet!

LOST's Hanso Foundation Missing Glyph No. 69

YES. I have found a missing Glyph #69 to help solve The Lost Experience’s Mysterious Glyphs.
Together we could uncover Hanso Foundation’s Eveeel Scheme!
Help me ‘decrpyt’ this GLYPH!